Ken Lovelace Ministries


ANCHORS AWAY, MY SON by Lygia Lovelace This past week I watched a car pull away from our curb with my precious boy inside. Though he is my firstborn, he is actually the third son to leave our home in this way-for an indefinite amount of time. I thought of this on Monday, as I watched Bracken leave for his new life in the Navy. This first son to leave our home was our little Jake, 12 years ago. (See Lygia's article Jake's Story). Riding in the back seat that morning, Jake turned from his car seat as the car pulled away. Our eyes met one last time. I spoke to him with my heart. No matter where you live, Jake, you are still our son. We love you forever. You are always our son. I turned and went back into the house, to find 6 year old Bracken sobbing into the carpet. "He's gone, Mommy! My brother's gone! Will we ever see him again?" I had no answers for my oldest son then, only hugs, as I knelt my pregnant body down beside him. We had lost a son, and though we didn't know it yet, another would arrive in just a few hours! We are yet to see Jake again. My, what a big boy he must be now! One day, perhaps, he'll come knocking. Since I pray for his salvation daily, I joyfully plan to see him in heaven… The second time I watched a car pull away from our curb with my precious boy inside, it was my Thai son, Caleb. Though we meant for Caleb to stay at least 18 years, God had other plans. "What's wrong with me, Dad? Can't you and Mom help me? Why do I have to go somewhere else?" When we first held this beautiful dark-skinned, almond-eyed boy, when he was just a 1 year old, I would never have believed anyone who told me that we would only have him in our home for a little more than a decade. Years of mental illness and violence followed our first few months together. I remember the first time I realized he needed more than we could give him. I knew he would be leaving. Sobs shook my body as I fell prostrate before the Father, digging my nails in the carpet. My heart was in so much pain, I couldn't even find the words to ask "why?" "You know, Caleb, I'm a pastor," my husband explained gently in response to my son's question, "With God's help, I can help people with a lot of problems. I can counsel them, pray with them…help them to work through family problems. I can even take them to the doctor to get them some medicine if they need it." "But Caleb, honey," Ken said with tears in his eyes, "I can't fix this. Your needs are greater than what I can do. We need God's help. Only He can help." Then Ken said what I've heard him say to Caleb so many times since then, "But no matter where you live, you are still our son. We love you forever. You are always our son." It took me over a year to pick up Caleb's dirty socks from the floor where he left them the morning a car pulled away from our curb with him inside. Over a year. This time, just a few days ago, I dreaded watching that car pull away from the curb with my son inside. I knew what that was like. I've said good-bye to sons before… And it was tearful, it's true. But I marveled as God also filled my heart with joy and peace! Indeed, I knew that God was writing the last page of this chapter of our lives. A new book was being born: Bracken's Journey. As I watched the car pull away, I knew that an exciting new first chapter was being written! We too are beginning a new chapter. Old memories are being stored away in boxes. Yesterday, I picked up his last dirty clothes off the floor. There's still a lump in my throat. But I am at peace. New adventures are awaiting us…all of us. No matter where you live, Bracken, you are still our son. We love you forever. You are always our son. Anchors away, my son.

ANCHORS AWAY, MY SON
by Lygia Lovelace

This past week I watched a car pull away from our curb with my precious boy inside. Though he is my firstborn, he is actually the third son to leave our home in this way-for an indefinite amount of time. I thought of this on Monday, as I watched Bracken leave for his new life in the Navy.

This first son to leave our home was our little Jake, 12 years ago. (See Lygia's article Jake's Story). Riding in the back seat that morning, Jake turned from his car seat as the car pulled away. Our eyes met one last time.

I spoke to him with my heart. No matter where you live, Jake, you are still our son. We love you forever. You are always our son.

I turned and went back into the house, to find 6 year old Bracken sobbing into the carpet.

"He's gone, Mommy! My brother's gone! Will we ever see him again?"

I had no answers for my oldest son then, only hugs, as I knelt my pregnant body down beside him. We had lost a son, and though we didn't know it yet, another would arrive in just a few hours!

We are yet to see Jake again. My, what a big boy he must be now! One day, perhaps, he'll come knocking. Since I pray for his salvation daily, I joyfully plan to see him in heaven…

The second time I watched a car pull away from our curb with my precious boy inside, it was my Thai son, Caleb. Though we meant for Caleb to stay at least 18 years, God had other plans.

"What's wrong with me, Dad? Can't you and Mom help me? Why do I have to go somewhere else?"

When we first held this beautiful dark-skinned, almond-eyed boy, when he was just a 1 year old, I would never have believed anyone who told me that we would only have him in our home for a little more than a decade. Years of mental illness and violence followed our first few months together. I remember the first time I realized he needed more than we could give him. I knew he would be leaving. Sobs shook my body as I fell prostrate before the Father, digging my nails in the carpet. My heart was in so much pain, I couldn't even find the words to ask "why?"

"You know, Caleb, I'm a pastor," my husband explained gently in response to my son's question, "With God's help, I can help people with a lot of problems. I can counsel them, pray with them…help them to work through family problems. I can even take them to the doctor to get them some medicine if they need it."

"But Caleb, honey," Ken said with tears in his eyes, "I can't fix this. Your needs are greater than what I can do. We need God's help. Only He can help."

Then Ken said what I've heard him say to Caleb so many times since then, "But no matter where you live, you are still our son. We love you forever. You are always our son."

It took me over a year to pick up Caleb's dirty socks from the floor where he left them the morning a car pulled away from our curb with him inside. Over a year.

This time, just a few days ago, I dreaded watching that car pull away from the curb with my son inside. I knew what that was like. I've said good-bye to sons before…

And it was tearful, it's true. But I marveled as God also filled my heart with joy and peace! Indeed, I knew that God was writing the last page of this chapter of our lives. A new book was being born: Bracken's Journey. As I watched the car pull away, I knew that an exciting new first chapter was being written!

We too are beginning a new chapter. Old memories are being stored away in boxes. Yesterday, I picked up his last dirty clothes off the floor. There's still a lump in my throat. But I am at peace. New adventures are awaiting us…all of us.

No matter where you live, Bracken, you are still our son. We love you forever. You are always our son.

Anchors away, my son.