Ken Lovelace Ministries


AT THE END OF JAMES 4:2 by Lygia Lovelace "His staring creeps me out." "Why does he do that?" Josiah's unusual ways have often been the topic of conversation among our other children. When he first came to live with us, nearly 18 months ago, I'm convinced that he wasn't sure why he was here. He was totally unsettled and confused. He didn't communicate with us very well, and he didn't like us very much, either. He certainly didn't ask for us to be his mom and dad, and his family -- and he seemed bewildered (and indignant) that we acted as if we had control over him. And though Liberians speak English, it is certainly different from American English. How strange we must have sounded to him! He explored everything. Water faucets were a new invention for him, along with hand soap, battery operated toys, and flashlights. We all laughed when he kept blowing on Ken's flashlight, trying to put out the light! So many of his actions reminded us more of an animal than a child. We must have seemed to him overly picky about things like cleanliness, nose-blowing, table manners, bathroom habits, and sharing. The only familiar thing about this new life was that his sisters were also here. That seemed to bring him some comfort and perhaps, stability. "If he wants something, why doesn't he just ask for it?" Not even knowing how old he was, I wasn't sure how firm to be with him. Though he continues to outgrow Elijah (who is almost 5) physically, his adoption papers and birth certificate place him at barely 3 years old. Lack of stimulation and malnourishment have caused him to be behind in several areas of his development, so probably his "younger age" is for the best. But he is learning fast. The first few months Josiah was here, he didn't know to ask for what he needed or wanted. Basically he had 2 tactics for getting his needs met -- staring at us, or stealing. If we were nearby, and he couldn't just take what he needed, he would stare us down, hoping we would read his mind and give him what he needed. If we weren't around, he would use that opportunity to just take whatever it was he wanted. We found all kinds of "desired treasures" hidden in his blankets or on his body. Any food or drink left out would soon disappear under his watchful eye. Perhaps we were most shocked when he grabbed Brooklyn's entire birthday cake, took it in the other room, and ate it with both hands as fast as he could! Admittedly, he's been a challenge! But Elijah loves him totally and unconditionally. I was most worried about Elijah when our 3 little Africans arrived, wondering if Elijah would mind NOT being "the baby" anymore. Not only that, Josiah and Elijah are obviously close in age, and I wondered how it would make Elijah feel. But Elijah's African brother is the first one Elijah asks about in the morning, and the last one Elijah thinks about at night. He is Elijah's best friend, playmate, and partner in crime. We needn't have worried about Elijah. One of the greatest discoveries on Josiah's part was in learning how to ask for the things he wanted. Elijah, out of his great love for his brother, taught him how. I was so surprised when I gave Josiah a banana one day for snack, and instead of standing there gaping at me, he hesitantly asked me, in his thick Liberian accent, "Would you cook it in the fire?" And he handed me back the banana. I was so pleased that he asked, and I wanted to oblige...but, cook his banana in the fire? I smiled at him, and said, "Josiah, I would, but, I don't know how to do that!" His next expression caused me to burst out laughing. He looked at me as if I had no sense whatsoever. He must have been thinking, "What kind of woman is this? She doesn't even know how to cook a banana...?" But after that experience, things began to get smoother between us. Oh, at times he still stares and steals. But more and more, he has been asking, and we have been understanding each other. You see, he has begun to understand that he is our child! He has Lovelace rights! He has been adopted into our family, and he belongs. Though we might say "no," he still has every right to ask for what he needs or wants. Are you a child of God? Have you been adopted into His family? If so, then you belong. You have Jesus rights! Do you remember to ask for what you need? Jesus Himself encourages you to ask... Ask, and it will be given to you...(Matthew 7:7) Paul tells us in Philippians... ...present your requests to God...(Philippians 4:6) And then there's James. At the end of James 4:2 he tells us... ...you do not have, because you do not ask... Early in my walk with God, I was much like Josiah-unsure of how to get the things I wanted or thought I needed. I didn't stare or steal, but my prayers sounded a lot like my children, at times... "Moooooommmm, I can't DO THIS!" "This is too hard!" "This isn't working...!" Because we're not too fond of whining, we have a rule in our house...don't whine about it, just ask for help. But which do I do before my Heavenly Father, when times get tough? Do I whine? Do I complain? Do I talk about it to those around me? Or do I ask the One who loves me most? I've been known to whine and complain before the Lord. And God, being the PERFECT PARENT that He is, listens to my heart... Father, this is TOO HARD! We just can't DO THIS anymore! But as I grow, and understand God better, I'm learning to ask... ...knowing, of course, that my Heavenly Father doesn't ALWAYS give me what I ask for, but He does always give me what is BEST FOR ME, according to His will...according to His Name. And that's what I "signed up for" when I gave myself up to Him, to be adopted and to become His child. I get to receive His very best for me. Oh my dear friend, just like Elijah with Josiah, your Father loves you totally and unconditionally. He looks for you in the early morning, and thinks about you when you go to bed at night. He wants to be your best Friend. He provided a way for you to come to Him -- through His Son, Jesus Christ. And Jesus, out of His great love for you -- since you are His brother or sister -- wants to teach you how to ask for the things that you need, and want. Jesus rights -- do you have them? Then, ask. And at the end of James 4:2, there are more truths. But that's another article for another time. Are you sure you have Jesus rights? Are you a child of God? If you are unsure, click here.

AT THE END OF JAMES 4:2
by Lygia Lovelace

"His staring creeps me out."

"Why does he do that?"

Josiah's unusual ways have often been the topic of conversation among our other children. When he first came to live with us, nearly 18 months ago, I'm convinced that he wasn't sure why he was here. He was totally unsettled and confused. He didn't communicate with us very well, and he didn't like us very much, either. He certainly didn't ask for us to be his mom and dad, and his family -- and he seemed bewildered (and indignant) that we acted as if we had control over him.

And though Liberians speak English, it is certainly different from American English. How strange we must have sounded to him!

He explored everything. Water faucets were a new invention for him, along with hand soap, battery operated toys, and flashlights. We all laughed when he kept blowing on Ken's flashlight, trying to put out the light!

So many of his actions reminded us more of an animal than a child. We must have seemed to him overly picky about things like cleanliness, nose-blowing, table manners, bathroom habits, and sharing.

The only familiar thing about this new life was that his sisters were also here. That seemed to bring him some comfort and perhaps, stability.

"If he wants something, why doesn't he just ask for it?"

Not even knowing how old he was, I wasn't sure how firm to be with him. Though he continues to outgrow Elijah (who is almost 5) physically, his adoption papers and birth certificate place him at barely 3 years old. Lack of stimulation and malnourishment have caused him to be behind in several areas of his development, so probably his "younger age" is for the best.

But he is learning fast.

The first few months Josiah was here, he didn't know to ask for what he needed or wanted. Basically he had 2 tactics for getting his needs met -- staring at us, or stealing. If we were nearby, and he couldn't just take what he needed, he would stare us down, hoping we would read his mind and give him what he needed.

If we weren't around, he would use that opportunity to just take whatever it was he wanted. We found all kinds of "desired treasures" hidden in his blankets or on his body. Any food or drink left out would soon disappear under his watchful eye. Perhaps we were most shocked when he grabbed Brooklyn's entire birthday cake, took it in the other room, and ate it with both hands as fast as he could!

Admittedly, he's been a challenge!

But Elijah loves him totally and unconditionally. I was most worried about Elijah when our 3 little Africans arrived, wondering if Elijah would mind NOT being "the baby" anymore. Not only that, Josiah and Elijah are obviously close in age, and I wondered how it would make Elijah feel.

But Elijah's African brother is the first one Elijah asks about in the morning, and the last one Elijah thinks about at night. He is Elijah's best friend, playmate, and partner in crime. We needn't have worried about Elijah.

One of the greatest discoveries on Josiah's part was in learning how to ask for the things he wanted. Elijah, out of his great love for his brother, taught him how.

I was so surprised when I gave Josiah a banana one day for snack, and instead of standing there gaping at me, he hesitantly asked me, in his thick Liberian accent,

"Would you cook it in the fire?" And he handed me back the banana.

I was so pleased that he asked, and I wanted to oblige...but, cook his banana in the fire?

I smiled at him, and said, "Josiah, I would, but, I don't know how to do that!"

His next expression caused me to burst out laughing. He looked at me as if I had no sense whatsoever. He must have been thinking,

"What kind of woman is this? She doesn't even know how to cook a banana...?"

But after that experience, things began to get smoother between us. Oh, at times he still stares and steals. But more and more, he has been asking, and we have been understanding each other. You see, he has begun to understand that he is our child! He has Lovelace rights! He has been adopted into our family, and he belongs. Though we might say "no," he still has every right to ask for what he needs or wants.

Are you a child of God? Have you been adopted into His family? If so, then you belong. You have Jesus rights! Do you remember to ask for what you need?

Jesus Himself encourages you to ask...

Ask, and it will be given to you...(Matthew 7:7)

Paul tells us in Philippians...

...present your requests to God...(Philippians 4:6)

And then there's James. At the end of James 4:2 he tells us...

...you do not have, because you do not ask...

Early in my walk with God, I was much like Josiah-unsure of how to get the things I wanted or thought I needed. I didn't stare or steal, but my prayers sounded a lot like my children, at times...

"Moooooommmm, I can't DO THIS!"

"This is too hard!"

"This isn't working...!"

Because we're not too fond of whining, we have a rule in our house...don't whine about it, just ask for help.

But which do I do before my Heavenly Father, when times get tough? Do I whine? Do I complain? Do I talk about it to those around me? Or do I ask the One who loves me most?

I've been known to whine and complain before the Lord. And God, being the PERFECT PARENT that He is, listens to my heart...

Father, this is TOO HARD! We just can't DO THIS anymore!

But as I grow, and understand God better, I'm learning to ask...

...knowing, of course, that my Heavenly Father doesn't ALWAYS give me what I ask for, but He does always give me what is BEST FOR ME, according to His will...according to His Name.

And that's what I "signed up for" when I gave myself up to Him, to be adopted and to become His child. I get to receive His very best for me.

Oh my dear friend, just like Elijah with Josiah, your Father loves you totally and unconditionally. He looks for you in the early morning, and thinks about you when you go to bed at night. He wants to be your best Friend. He provided a way for you to come to Him -- through His Son, Jesus Christ. And Jesus, out of His great love for you -- since you are His brother or sister -- wants to teach you how to ask for the things that you need, and want.

Jesus rights -- do you have them? Then, ask.

And at the end of James 4:2, there are more truths. But that's another article for another time.

Are you sure you have Jesus rights? Are you a child of God? If you are unsure, click here.