Ken Lovelace Ministries


PIECE BY SMELLY PIECE by Lygia Lovelace The other day as I was folding socks, I was reminded of something that happened early in our marriage... "Oh, good grief, I forgot the list! I'll have to go back in and get it before I leave..." In a hurry, I slammed the door of the car, only to realize that the keys were still in the ignition. As the driver's side door shut securely, I reached for it. I pulled on it, but it was definitely locked. Ken was at work, quite a distance away. I was in a hurry for an important meeting. What could I do? I called Ken, and sheepishly explained my problem. Should I call a locksmith? Should I miss the meeting? With a sigh of frustration, my sweet husband said he would leave work, drive the distance home, and unlock the car door for me. As I hung up the phone I felt guilty. I hated for Ken to leave work. Would his boss be upset? I knew that Ken was frustrated, and I hated being the object of his frustration. Why did I have to be so absent-minded??! Oh, well, I thought. I might as well accomplish a few last minute chores before Ken arrived. After spending a few minutes inside, I went back out to the car to wait for Ken. As I glanced in the back seat, I noticed that one of the rear doors was UNlocked! How could that be! Why had I not thought to check all the doors!!? Now I REALLY felt absent-minded! I opened the rear door then glanced at the entrance to the parking lot, suddenly afraid that Ken would drive in and see me with the door open. Guiltily, I locked the rear door of the car, slammed it shut, and then checked all the other doors to make sure that they, too, were locked! Soon after my crime of concealment, Ken drove in. He graciously unlocked the doors for me, and hastily returned to work. Not wanting to reveal my stupidity or my deceit, it was a long time before I finally admitted to Ken what I had done. Although we've laughed about it over the years, this one incident is also a sobering reminder to me of what true confession really is. What does all this have to do with folding socks? I'm getting there... You see, for many years after I was saved, I treated my sins much like that locked rear door. I hoped my Father wasn't looking when I committed these sins. They didn't seem too bad to me, so I didn't take them seriously. I thought it was best not to talk about them with my Father. In fact, if I didn't think too much about my sins, then perhaps my Heavenly Father would also not remember them. But then, I began to feel like my relationship with God was exactly like that locked rear door. I was standing on the outside, looking in, and feeling separated from the One I had given my life to... I was depressed, frustrated, anxious, and self-centered. My prayer life and time with God seemed boring and meaningless. That's when I really began to ponder Psalm 66:18. Even as a child, I had learned that God hears me when I pray. But what about when I cherish sin in my heart? What about when I lock the rear door and close out the Father from the deepest recesses of my heart? Will He listen to a heart that is already too full of sinful secrets to sincerely cry out to Him? What was this doing to my relationship with Him? And how would this affect my intercession? Would my family, church, friends, the lost, missionaries -- and all the others I was praying for actually be hindered in their ministry and possible salvation because of MY SIN? This sounded serious. I began to ask other Christians how they handled their own sins. Did they think about them? Write them down? Ignore them? I got lots of different opinions: "No, no, you mustn't dwell on them! It's not healthy to think back on your sins-any therapist will tell you that!" "I'd like to help you, Lygia, but sins aren't something I struggle with..." "You don't have to worry about that...you're already forgiven..." OK, but what do I do with Psalm 66:18? So, I went to the Father and asked Him, "Father, what sins have I cherished in my heart? Should I think too much about them? Is this hindering my relationship with You?" I didn't get an answer right away. So I persevered in prayer. "Break down the barriers, Father, open the locked rear doors of my heart..." Not long after that, I was sorting laundry. The kids had been playing outside the day before and the piles of laundry I was sorting were particularly muddy, smelly, and disgusting. As I pulled out dirty socks, one by one, God began to bring to my mind, one by one, some sins of my heart that were locked away. By the time I reached the bottom of the dirty pile, I was sobbing. I reached for that pile again, mixed them together, and began re-sorting them. Once again these sins came to mind. However insignificant they might be to others, these sins were huge great walls of muck and slime standing between my Father and me. I knew then, without a doubt, that any wrongdoing is significant and hurtful to God, and must be dealt with, time after time. I began to confess and ask forgiveness, sock by smelly sock, sin by smelly sin. I learned a lot that day. It had been my habit to take my sins, in one big load of laundry, and ask forgiveness for them -- not specifically, but generally -- mixing all the colors, and dulling my relationship with the Father. But now, it has become my habit to meticulously examine my life, day by day, piece by piece, lest anything come between my Father and me. And, I pray often for God to prick my heart at the very moment that I grieve Him in my sin. Sometimes, I feel as if my heart has been pricked so many times that there is a visible gaping hole...and perhaps there is. How's your prayer life? Is it hindered? Are there secret sins-anger, worry, prejudice, sinful thoughts, that are blocking your relationship with God? Don't you long to be pure before Him? Don't you long to honor Him with a clean heart? Though God has allowed me to understand my need to confess my sins, piece by smelly piece, by no means have I mastered this. It's a grueling process. But I can testify to the joy, fulfillment, trust...humility...that this process brings. There's something else -- a surprising, amazing result -- that this purity of heart brings...but that's next week's article... Come and listen, all you who fear God; Let me tell you what He has done for me. I cried out to Him with my mouth; But His praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; But God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer Or withheld His love from me! Psalm 66

PIECE BY SMELLY PIECE
by Lygia Lovelace

The other day as I was folding socks, I was reminded of something that happened early in our marriage...

"Oh, good grief, I forgot the list! I'll have to go back in and get it before I leave..."

In a hurry, I slammed the door of the car, only to realize that the keys were still in the ignition. As the driver's side door shut securely, I reached for it. I pulled on it, but it was definitely locked.

Ken was at work, quite a distance away. I was in a hurry for an important meeting. What could I do?

I called Ken, and sheepishly explained my problem. Should I call a locksmith? Should I miss the meeting?

With a sigh of frustration, my sweet husband said he would leave work, drive the distance home, and unlock the car door for me.

As I hung up the phone I felt guilty. I hated for Ken to leave work. Would his boss be upset? I knew that Ken was frustrated, and I hated being the object of his frustration. Why did I have to be so absent-minded??!

Oh, well, I thought. I might as well accomplish a few last minute chores before Ken arrived.

After spending a few minutes inside, I went back out to the car to wait for Ken. As I glanced in the back seat, I noticed that one of the rear doors was UNlocked! How could that be! Why had I not thought to check all the doors!!?

Now I REALLY felt absent-minded! I opened the rear door then glanced at the entrance to the parking lot, suddenly afraid that Ken would drive in and see me with the door open.

Guiltily, I locked the rear door of the car, slammed it shut, and then checked all the other doors to make sure that they, too, were locked!

Soon after my crime of concealment, Ken drove in. He graciously unlocked the doors for me, and hastily returned to work.

Not wanting to reveal my stupidity or my deceit, it was a long time before I finally admitted to Ken what I had done. Although we've laughed about it over the years, this one incident is also a sobering reminder to me of what true confession really is.

What does all this have to do with folding socks? I'm getting there...

You see, for many years after I was saved, I treated my sins much like that locked rear door. I hoped my Father wasn't looking when I committed these sins. They didn't seem too bad to me, so I didn't take them seriously. I thought it was best not to talk about them with my Father. In fact, if I didn't think too much about my sins, then perhaps my Heavenly Father would also not remember them.

But then, I began to feel like my relationship with God was exactly like that locked rear door. I was standing on the outside, looking in, and feeling separated from the One I had given my life to...

I was depressed, frustrated, anxious, and self-centered. My prayer life and time with God seemed boring and meaningless.

That's when I really began to ponder Psalm 66:18.

Even as a child, I had learned that God hears me when I pray. But what about when I cherish sin in my heart? What about when I lock the rear door and close out the Father from the deepest recesses of my heart? Will He listen to a heart that is already too full of sinful secrets to sincerely cry out to Him? What was this doing to my relationship with Him?

And how would this affect my intercession? Would my family, church, friends, the lost, missionaries -- and all the others I was praying for actually be hindered in their ministry and possible salvation because of MY SIN?

This sounded serious.

I began to ask other Christians how they handled their own sins. Did they think about them? Write them down? Ignore them?

I got lots of different opinions:

"No, no, you mustn't dwell on them! It's not healthy to think back on your sins-any therapist will tell you that!"

"I'd like to help you, Lygia, but sins aren't something I struggle with..."

"You don't have to worry about that...you're already forgiven..."

OK, but what do I do with Psalm 66:18?

So, I went to the Father and asked Him, "Father, what sins have I cherished in my heart? Should I think too much about them? Is this hindering my relationship with You?"

I didn't get an answer right away. So I persevered in prayer.

"Break down the barriers, Father, open the locked rear doors of my heart..."

Not long after that, I was sorting laundry. The kids had been playing outside the day before and the piles of laundry I was sorting were particularly muddy, smelly, and disgusting. As I pulled out dirty socks, one by one, God began to bring to my mind, one by one, some sins of my heart that were locked away.

By the time I reached the bottom of the dirty pile, I was sobbing.

I reached for that pile again, mixed them together, and began re-sorting them. Once again these sins came to mind. However insignificant they might be to others, these sins were huge great walls of muck and slime standing between my Father and me. I knew then, without a doubt, that any wrongdoing is significant and hurtful to God, and must be dealt with, time after time.

I began to confess and ask forgiveness, sock by smelly sock, sin by smelly sin.

I learned a lot that day. It had been my habit to take my sins, in one big load of laundry, and ask forgiveness for them -- not specifically, but generally -- mixing all the colors, and dulling my relationship with the Father.

But now, it has become my habit to meticulously examine my life, day by day, piece by piece, lest anything come between my Father and me. And, I pray often for God to prick my heart at the very moment that I grieve Him in my sin. Sometimes, I feel as if my heart has been pricked so many times that there is a visible gaping hole...and perhaps there is.

How's your prayer life? Is it hindered? Are there secret sins-anger, worry, prejudice, sinful thoughts, that are blocking your relationship with God?

Don't you long to be pure before Him? Don't you long to honor Him with a clean heart?

Though God has allowed me to understand my need to confess my sins, piece by smelly piece, by no means have I mastered this. It's a grueling process. But I can testify to the joy, fulfillment, trust...humility...that this process brings.

There's something else -- a surprising, amazing result -- that this purity of heart brings...but that's next week's article...

Come and listen, all you who fear God;
Let me tell you what He has done for me. I cried out to Him with my mouth;
But His praise was on my tongue.
If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;
But God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.
Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer
Or withheld His love from me! Psalm 66